Which boob wrote this:

The drama of the rib

Anna and I talk about the important stuff.

 Updates are slowing down because there's really not much to report. There's not much newness these days except that depicted in the text conversation with Anna above. I'm still getting used to a very different body, still very comfortable with that side of things. Being able to feel my ribs for the first time is just strange. Ribs are bony and bumpy.

The incisions are now completely healed and the glue is gone. 

Here is what I have, 6.5 weeks out, the bare bones, honest assessment.

I'm still tired. I try not to overcommit, but if you know me, you know I'm doing too much. This week my goal is to do less.

Physical therapy, as I mentioned, is hard work. I have wanted stuff that really challenged me and my physical therapist has been telling me it wasn't time yet. I trust her knowledge and have followed her plan to the letter, so I'm super excited to be where I am, and now have stuff that does challenge me. But god it is hard ("careful what you ask for"). I am noticing some swelling again after doing it, and my therapist said that's probably within the realm of normal but we'll keep an eye on it. We also addressed my hip now that I have stability and mobility to do some things and that was exciting. She's pretty confident that I have impingement in my hip but it seems like we can tackle that. I have things to work on, though the assessment today kind of kicked my butt.

Part of the intake form for the assessment asked me about my goals for the therapy and timeline, and I had no idea what to say. Is a goal of being pain free in my hip a good one? Is a goal of being back in the air and doing hard things the right one? What's the right timeline given the rest of the state of the crap I'm dealing with? I left it vague, but since she is treating me for all the PT things, she understood.

Medication continues to be annoying but just under the threshold of being enough to really complain about. I have a near-constant headache. Tylenol and ibuprofen don't seem to help. I get hot flashes so I have stopped drinking hot beverages (so much cold press being made in this house these days). I compensate with a never-ending rotation of ice packs, and then I am freezing. We had a really wonderful lunch over at friends' house last week and I had to assure them that I didn't have covid, I just can't control my body temperature. And my sleep is still irregular.

I've been pretty upbeat about things so far. The pain levels are manageable. But there is still constant pain, and even at low levels, constant pain if fucking exhausting, and by the weekends, all I can do is sleep. There's some pain around where the drains were, there's pain from the therapy, as things get moving, there's pain from the surgery (though this is lessening). I get infrequent but sharp stabby pains that just blindside me. Another common(ish) side effect of the medication is pain: bone pain and muscular pain. I think that started this weekend but it's hard to know what comes from what, and what will just get better when I am finally able to use my body more.

With pain comes tension. Acupuncture has helped. Beck came today with her bag of needles and assorted bits and worked magic on me. It helped immensely with the pain. I'd love to be in a position to make that happen a couple of times a week because it made a huge difference. She was able to work some pressure points and release a few spots that have been really causing me problems. I'm grateful. Also, she brought Clyde, her big goofy dog, and dog time makes everything better.

All this said, my trip through this has been remarkably easy relative to so many people, so it's yet another reminder that every cancer journey is different. And I know it isn't reasonable to compare, but I try to remind myself when I have a grim day that I have had a very, very lucky time of this (no chemo!). Still, for now, you may catch me on some of the crankier days, more tired, more struggling, more in pain (especially as physical therapy ramps up). That's just part of it for the moment.