One week until the chopshop.

I took some liberties here but please do learn more about jellyfish.

One week until surgery.

Restrictions kick in now. I have a long list of things I'm no longer allowed to consume, including anything that might thin my blood. For the next week, no 

• NSAIDs 
• Aspirin (Tylenol only for this girl for the next week!) 
• Green tea
• Herbal tea
• Turmeric (as a supplement sort of level)
• Vitamins
• Fish oil (I'm vegan so that one I'm probably okay with)
• any other herbal supplement

The really nice thing I learned at my pre-op appt is that I CAN HAVE MY COFFEE the morning of surgery, as long as it is black coffee (which is how I drink my coffee). She even said, "it helps with the post-op headaches." No kidding there. The biggest concern I had about the actual surgery was the caffeine headache I'd inevitably wake up with. (Yes, of course I have other concerns post-op, like, will I need chemo? NO CHEMO NO CHEMO.)

Last week I started having anxiety dreams. In the first one, I forgot to go do my covid test that I have to do before surgery. In another, I forgot to go get my radiation injection. In another, I couldn't find the hospital.

The hospital where I am being treated is five minutes away. I can literally look out my window and see the hospital. I have walked there, it is that close (more for exercise than for medical purposes...).

My anxiety appears to be wrapped around not getting surgery rather than actually having it.

My brother surprised me and offered to come here to help post-op (he's a "real" doctor), but I think we'll manage. I have ordered all the things I could possibly need, prepped tons of food to freeze, you name it. I've read everything I can and I've asked tons of questions from doctors and friends. I've spent time on the forum at breastcancer.org, weeding through things that are and are not relevant to me. I'm sure I'll be surprised by things along this journey, but I feel as prepared as I can be.

Other observation: another side I've never really thought much about (because I've had the advantage of generally being healthy) is the cost of being comfortable in and around a procedure like this. You know, the incidentals. 

I have spent a surprising number of dollars on simple things like Gatorade powder (surgeon said this is okay), protein bars and other easy snacks for post-op, ice packs, ginger candies for nausea, bands for training to get my mobility back, extra underwear in case laundry can't get done for a while,* baby wipes so I can wipe myself down in the days I can't shower, clothes that slip off or button down, a bottle of Tylenol that didn't expire two years ago (posh!)...etc., etc. I've worked with a physical therapist who, bless her, works on a sliding scale; I prefer to pay her, though, since I'm able to, and frankly, I think it's important to pay people for their work. I got off easy since I will be able to shower reasonably soon and don't need the $80 shower shirt that I see advertised (or trash bags and tape) to keep the incisions dry. 

None of these things are strictly necessary (maybe the Tylenol). But I think they will make my recovery that much more comfortable. Still, surgery has a lot of hidden costs I hadn't really thought of, and I'm lucky not to have to take unpaid medical leave (and again, to have good insurance).

Also, going from my current size to my post-op size? I suspect my clothes will no longer fit properly. It will be months before I really know, but I'm not sure I will have much to wear, especially in the dressy category...not that I wear that stuff often these days anyway. So...add to the total some new clothes in a few months...and if you know me, you know shopping is not something that I get excited about.

Next post: the things I AM excited about.

*Stephen assures me he can do laundry. And yes, he is a fully functional and intelligent adult. This is partly me being overly protective and trying not to put too much work on him, and partly me remembering all the pink items that came out of the washer last time he did laundry.