It begins. In which I say thank you.

It begins

I got an email over the weekend saying I had 13 new finalized claims from my health insurance. A cursory look through them (who are we kidding, I made a spreadsheet) and I once again say I have the privilege of good health insurance. I have barely begun this and it's astounding looking at the billing, the insurance coverage, all of it. It's crazy what gets billed, what gets paid, what I'm responsible for (thankfully precious little). I won't go on a rant about this here.

But also...since I mentioned the whole c-word (not THAT c-word) out loud, I have had nothing but amazing support from everyone. Friends have checked in with me, sent me pajamas (OMG THE PAJAMAS), checked in with me more, helped me write this blog, sent me academic papers, offered support in a gazillion untold ways, even those who are far away, knowing that it's hard to help from a distance.

I mentioned last post that it can be overwhelming to deal with parts of this and while I'm largely doing pretty well with this, the first few days of people supporting me were a bit much for me since that's not really how I roll through the world as most of you know. Friend Laura gave me quite the lecture that I'd need help, and I'd need to accept help as this progressed, and that's true. 

And the thing about help: I have had such an outpouring of support that I know I'll have it. It's a daunting thing to know that there are that many people in your corner. Weird to say? Maybe. But also an incredibly powerful thing. So to everyone who reached out, thank you.  Thank you for caring, thank you for supporting me, thank you for the offers, even when you don't know exactly what to offer. Even if I didn't reply to your text or email or message, I saw it and I appreciated it. And really, it's been a huge part of what's helping me stay so positive. So even if I don't reply, please feel free to send me silly anecdotes, messages, whatever. Make me laugh. Make me cry. Tell me about you. Ask me about me, but don't get mad if I can't answer. Life goes on even if I'm missing out on some things I would normally be a part of and I want to hear about that. Tell me. Fill me in. I am listening. 

And if you've made it this far in the blog, once more with feeling: Thanks. Sending all of you lots of love and gratitude.